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Joke of the Day

"My gal pal: ""Are you on a diet? You look so nice & thin... What's you're secret?!"" Me: ""Poverty."""

"I asked my wife to dress up as a nurse tonight... to fulfill my fantasy... that we have health insurance."

"I can't spell armugedon... But it's not the end of the world."

"My mom worries about me too much. We were having a phone conversation till she dropped her phone. She picks it up and asks ""are you OK?"""

"Why are there so few Mexican athletes in the Olympics? Because most of them who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States."

"Have you heard men get hit by lightning 6x more often than women? The kitchen must be a very safe place"

"I love watching kids running in the park... They have no idea I'm shooting blanks"

"I'm not saying she's a slut but she's had more people inside her than the statue of liberty!"

"Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired."

"What are parents that you can see through? Transparents"