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Joke of the Day

"My gal pal: ""Are you on a diet? You look so nice & thin... What's you're secret?!"" Me: ""Poverty."""

"At first, I was merely a stock trading enthusiast... ...but now I'm fully invested."

"Captain America: WHERE ARE YOU WE NEED YOU Black WINDOW: FOR THE LAST TIME YOU GOT THE WRONG NUMBER"

"FOUNDER OF HOGWARTS: okay, so we all know there are four types of kid. brave, smart, evil and miscellaneous. SCHOOL BOARD: yes, continue."

"Why were the people in the World Trade Center mad on 9/11 ? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and all they got was plane."

"What does a gay man and a rhubarb have in common? It's not right to call them a fruit."

"DIVORCE Q: How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, because they never get the house."

"Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? Thousands of souls were lost"

"What do you call a polish guy on a boat? A fishing pole"

"Before updating my status l always test it on my wife first. If she rolls her eyes and leaves the room, l know it has potential."