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Joke of the Day

"The Russian army orders 100K rubbers from a US company, specifying 12"" fit needed. The US firm fills the order with packaging marked ""MEDIUM."""

"Q: How did a blind woman pierce her ear? A: Answering the stapler."

"Me: Rest assured I will go to the grave with your secret. Pat: Thank you. Me: Unfortunately so will my golfing buddies."

"A cat got run over A little boy told his teacher that his cat got run over its ass and the teacher said its thats terrible but its called a rectum. the boy said: rectum? it near killed him."

"Whichever part of my body is responsible for burning fat needs to stop procrastinating."

"What's the best time to visit your Chinese dentist? Tooth hurty"

"A man seeking to lose some of his excess weight visited the local doctor. John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat? Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off."

"So a coworker of mine made a joke about midgets going extinct. And I was offended! Because there is nothing funny about a midget shortage."

"Do you know the difference between pink and purple? Your grip."

"Chelsea FC captain had a night to forget, his performance was Terryble"