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Joke of the Day

"A man seeking to lose some of his excess weight visited the local doctor. John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat? Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off."

"What cut of beef was Lady Gaga's meat dress made from? Skirt steak. Forgive me."

"Light a man a fire... Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night. Light a man afire and he'll be warm the rest of his life. (I know it's a repost, but I've never seen the play on words, shame)"

"What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time..."

"What do you call a Chinese woman with one leg? Irene."

"What's the length of the world's smalest possible sea creature A PLANCKton unit"

"There was a black out in my neighborhood last night. The police told us to stay inside until they shot him."

"Wanna hear a joke about the OP that actually delivered?"

"What's the hardest part about rollerblading? ...telling your dad you're gay"

"What do you do in the bathroom if you are trying to waste time? Stall"