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Joke of the Day

"Chelsea FC captain had a night to forget, his performance was Terryble"

"All I did was compliment a coworker on their fantastic mustache, and now I'm in HR's office. Thanks a lot, Megan!"

"Takes a very specific type of confidence to drop off your hoodie at coat check."

"Is she hot?- A guy's reply to any story that starts with ""This girl I know.."""

"Did you hear about the Murfreesboro muddlebrain whose father told him about the birds and the bees? The next day the Tennessean was stung by a bee and thought he was pregnant."

"Me: Hey, do you want to go buy some- Wife: YES!"

"A leopard tried to sneak out of his enclosure by pretending to be a zebra. But he was spotted."

"Rather? What is the best yes/no question(a.k.a. scrubles)? Similar to rater or not..."

"Remember: You can kill someone and wear their skin as a suit, but it's not identity theft until you use their debit card. Be smart about it."

"I felt shit today My finger went through the toilet paper"