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Joke of the Day

"Q: How did a blind woman pierce her ear? A: Answering the stapler."

"I bought a new boomerang... and went damn near crazy trying to throw the old one away!"

"Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper."

"Don't say ""ATM machine"". The ""M"" already stands for ""machine"". It's redundant. It's like saying ""end result"" or ""racist Fox News Anchor""."

"Did you hear the joke about Melania Trump? Yeah sorry. You've probably heard it before."

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers"

"What did Leonardo DaVinci call his house? The DaVinci Abode"

"Told my boss I would be turning in my badge and my gun. He said you work in IT, why do you have a gun?"

"I know Blatters are usually full of pee... but Sepp Blatter is full of shit."

"I work in a call center and a customer told me this one. A lonely man puts in ad out in the paper looking for a wife. the next day he gets 100 responses all from men saying ""you can have mine"""