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Joke of the Day

"If you message me with thanks, please include what you're thanking me for. I've been counting my money and sniffing my fingers all morning."

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"How do you spell Canada in Canadian? C EH N EH D EH"
"What do you call a rabbit in a beanie and listening to vinyl? A Hopster."
"This skinny girl just told me she ""forgets"" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it's contagious."
"Whats an African-American's favorite fare? Welfare."
"So I was sitting in traffic the other day... got run over."
"what phone service has the fastest internet? Sprint"
"Charles Dickens walks into a bar He orders a martini. The bartender asks, ""olive or twist?"""
"I started bleeding out of my ear yesterday.... I think I'm on my HEARiod"
"Jack the lad at work came out with this one today... What's the difference between 3 dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke.."