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Joke of the Day

"Whats an African-American's favorite fare? Welfare."

"Valentine's Day is for people who lack the imagination to be romantic during the rest of the year."

"I want to hire someone to wake me up each morning by bursting into my room and yelling, ""Get dressed and grab your gun -- they found him."""

"The worst pub I've ever been to was called The Fiddle. It really was a vile inn."

"What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed? McBongald's"

"Women can be so ungrateful. I just made breakfast in bed & instead of thanking me, she screams ""Who are you! How did you get in my house?"""

"They were two hookers riding a motorcycle... suddenly they hit a bump, and boom! your mom fell off!!!"

"I liked Nicki Minaj a lot better when she was Michael Jackson."

"Just asked Siri. ""Surely it's not going to rain today?"" She said ""it will, and don't call me Shirley"" ...Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode."

"Q: What kind of neckwear does Hillary Clinton look best in? A: A noose."