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Joke of the Day

"Me: [stands under majestic tree watching leaves fall] This is beautiful [2 hours later buried under a mountain of leaves] you piece of shit"

"What do you call a dog with short legs and steel balls? Sparky"

"There should be a terrible show about a woman, her mom, and her daughter, all 3 named Jennifer, called ""Jenerations"" on Lifetime or the CW."

"Why do we call them the Smoky Mountains? Because the moonshiners got there before the cartographers!"

"What do Polish arctic researchers do at elections? They have a polar pole poll."

"I got sacked from a job for smiling too much... I said, ""If I can't smile on the job, get yourself another undertaker."""

"What are the worst three words you could hear when you're in the middle of some passionate love making? ""Honey, I'm home!"""

"Q: Why shouldn't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she'll let it go!"

"No time to explain, I need 300 copies of this cat! *throws cat at Kinko's employee"

"Q: What do you call counterfeited German currency? A: Question marks."