29839

Joke of the Day

"Me: [stands under majestic tree watching leaves fall] This is beautiful [2 hours later buried under a mountain of leaves] you piece of shit"

"I told my friend that she was drawing her eyebrows too high She looked surprised"

"As I was checking into the hotel I asked, 'Is the porn channel disabled?' The girl at the desk said, 'No, you sick bastard'."

"Someone said my clothes were gay I said ""yeah they came out of the closet this morning"""

"My friend who works at the movie theater died yesterday... Funeral services are being held today at 4:25, 5:40, 7:10 and 9:45"

"The story of Kanye West Kanye West divorced his Kanye Pest, now it's just him and his kid in his Kanye Nest, Now he won't get his Kanye Rest to be his Kanye Best at the Kanye Test."

"The day I decided I wanted to do drugs Was the day I saw your crack"

"TwoXchromosomes is so annoying. It sounds like a bunch of crying girls all joined up in one place."

"Yo mama is so fat that... ...she should really be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem"

"What do you call it when crows make noise? A caw-cawphony"