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Joke of the Day

"I feel bad for women who say finding true love is the best experience in life. They've obviously never found their bra size on clearance."

"What's the best thing about an extremely drunk, angry girlfriend? They don't remember when you smack the ever living shit out of them."

"When a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing... ...either the car is new or the wife is."

"What did the pickle say to the cucumber? Come on in the water's brine!"

"The bathroom is the best room in the world... People expect shit-all of you there"

"My bunny thumps at trash collectors. Nice to know that if the Sanitation Dept. ever has ill intentions, she won't stand for any of that shit"

"So Scooby Doo mixes Ruthenium Hydrogen together with alcohol.. RuH-ROH."

"I'm going to the new Tom Cruise movie at midnight. Seeing it on the Edge of Tomorrow."

"I said hi to a feminist yesterday My court date is tomorrow"

"So Clark Kent is walking around with a giant cape bunched up under his dress shirt? I feel weird when I wear an undershirt."