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Joke of the Day

"When a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing... ...either the car is new or the wife is."

"Why are condoms and bungee-jumping similar? You're screwed if the rubber breaks."

"If corporations are people then that's really gross because we walk inside of them all the time."

"What Super Models should you invite to your birthday party ? Cake Moss and Naomi Candles"

"Anal piercings are just a pain in the ass I'm so sorry"

"Q: What goes VROOM SCREECHVROOM SCREECHVROOM SCREECH? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light."

"I'm really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet I don't know y"

"I said to my GF ""Please get me a newspaper."" ""Don't be silly,"" she replied ""you can borrow my iPad."" That spider never knew what hit it!"

"Dogs are ""practice babies"" and cats are ""practice ex-girlfriends you still have to share an apartment with."""

"What kind of blaster would you ambush Darth Vader with? I would use a sandblaster."