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Joke of the Day

"I said hi to a feminist yesterday My court date is tomorrow"

"Top 3 lies told by Wyoming cowboys 1) I own this truck. 2) I won this belt buckle in a rodeo. 3) I was just helping that sheep over the fence."

"Just told my driving instructor to put his seat belt ON for his safety. I'm definitely going to get the license this time."

"If I ever go missing, my dumbass family will pick a photo where I look happy and my hair looks good, and I'll never been seen alive again."

"Doctor: it's important to incorporate purple foods into your diet. Me: *eats purple cupcakes*"

"Don't like tipping bathroom attendants for merely handing me a towel. Maybe if he performed a service like wiping my ass I'd consider it."

"You can learn a lot about your kids by simply turning off the TV and talking. For example I discovered that mine are really boring."

"I'm always behind the person at McDonald's who acts like they've never seen the menu in their life"

"It's a damn shame when a man works hard all week then comes home for dinner and relaxation but has to work extra hard to get love and appreciation from his woman."

"firemen keep harvesting my cat tree"