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Joke of the Day

"Breathing heavily, she asked me what I can give her. Me: ""I'll give you a hint, it starts with a D"" Her: ""Oh yess, I can't wait!"" Me: ""That's right, get ready for some disappointment!"""

Next Joke
 
"I asked my band teacher to raise my F He gave me an FF instead."
"So a girl asked me if I was a tits or an ass man.. so I said, well my friends always tell me, ""You're an ass, man!"" Ba dum tiss."
"Remember they're just as afraid of seeing you dance as you are of dancing."
"On a scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky ...how much do you love your children?"
"Am I capable of premeditated murder? Your honor, I've been planning my cheat day for two weeks."
"4/20 = National Weed Day 4/21 = National Drug Testing Day 4/22 = National Unemployment Day"
"2nd month dating: A thousand lifetimes with you would not be enough. 2nd month of marriage: OMG you are the loudest cereal chewer on earth!"
"""Liquor in the front, poker in the back"" is not an acceptable tee shirt slogan for my church's charity poker team... I know that now."
"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a mosquito Go away sucker!"