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Joke of the Day
"Am I capable of premeditated murder? Your honor, I've been planning my cheat day for two weeks."
Next Joke
"How do you recycle a condom? You turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it"
"What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes his butt!"
"Mother: A carrot is just a vegan hotdog. *son looks at carrot* Mother: [desperate] Bugs Bunny eats them! Son: This is updoc. Mother: What's-"
"Caught my ping smoking weed while playing online Now it became high"
"When does every cat want to be fed? Right fucking meow"
"Why didn't the racist eat the middle of his sunny-side up egg? Because he only likes whites."
"Me: OMG, I haven't seen you in so long! Her: We've never met. Me: That long huh?"
"Two men were chatting in a bar ""So what do you do?"" ""I write"" ""Oh, poetry or prose?"" ""Neither, I write cartoons"" ""Why's that?"" ""No rhyme or reason"""
"Yes hello 911, I put a smaller microwave inside a bigger microwave and now there's a wormhole in my kitchen"