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Joke of the Day
"Pigeons always look like they're jamming out to an invisible iPod."
Next Joke
"Mayweather still has a perfect record At least until he's convicted"
"If there was a black character in Clue, the game would be called Solved."
"What did E.T.'s mother say when E.T. got home? ""Where on Earth have you been??!!"" **Thank you, I'll be here all night... Edit: Thanks for da love Dr. Jones!"
"What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a pedophile? alien vs predator"
"Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes."
"After a few bites of sunflower butter I've never been more fully prepared to buy a Prius."
"[orders 2,000 Big Macs thinking I'll only have to tell my mom 'I love her' for them] Cashier: that'll be $5,364.32 Me: shit"
"I'll never forget my Granddad's last words before he kicked the bucket. 'How far do you reckon I can kick this bucket?'"
"Why did the T.V. break up with the remote? She thought he was too controlling."