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Joke of the Day

"Why did the T.V. break up with the remote? She thought he was too controlling."

"I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up."

"What do your mother and a marathon have in common? They are both doable as long as you don't mind following a bunch of black guys."

"When a cop asks if you know why they pulled you over, smile, take their hand in yours and say, ""Sounds like somebody needed a friend"""

"When going out invite your friends with extra chromosomes. ....theyll always be down"

"""911 what's your emergency?"" ""Yeah, I've got so many questions about bees."" *sighs* ""Please hold for the president."""

"What has only one arm and can't swim? An excavator."

"What did the one strawberry say to the other? If you weren't so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam!"

"Women are like leaves... Sometimes they fall out of trees and I've never had sex with one"

"Where did Ronda Rousey learn how to take a punch? Holm School"