40150

Joke of the Day

"I'll never forget my Granddad's last words before he kicked the bucket. 'How far do you reckon I can kick this bucket?'"

"Every day I spend a few hours on a running track. Next week I might even turn it on."

"One Mississippi... two Mississippi... just kidding! One Mississippi is quite enough."

"Lets be honest Oscar Pistorius will never set foot in a prison"

"ME: I know it's probably the beer talking, but you look beautiful tonight! BEER: Hey buddy, don't be putting words in my mouth now."

"Want to get noticed? Go jogging without moving your arms."

"A retarded kid mugged me yesterday He told me to put the chromosome in the bag"

"What do you call a black ghost? Bill Cosby. He comes while you're sleeping."

"Why did my girlfriend go on birth control? Because I wanted her to be a twinkie and not a toaster strudel."

"How many people with dementia does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side."