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Joke of the Day

"If all the Domino's employees in the world held hands, you'd have to make your own pizza."

"if we're on a date and you're rude to the waiter I'd be like holy shit I'm on a date"

"damn girl are you the expiration date on my milk because I regret not paying attention to you"

"While they're a lot of fun on Halloween, did you know most jack-o'-lanterns end up at the pound? Please. Next year, carve a puppy."

"I'm always hard at work. But Human Resources keeps telling me that it's extremely inappropriate to have erections at the office."

"Which 2 Birthdays go by the quickest? the twenty second ones and the thirty second ones"

"Policeman: Didn't you see my lights flashing? Motorist: No I was going faster than the speed of light."

"Did you hear about the beef jerky manufacturer who was convicted of fraud? It was a cut and dry case."

"There is nothing louder than a party across the street that you weren't invited to."

"An Existential Question If given the choice between eating outside and watching the Nickelodeon network, what would you do? I'd pick Nick."