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Joke of the Day

"Policeman: Didn't you see my lights flashing? Motorist: No I was going faster than the speed of light."

"Bill Clinton was seeing his counselor... And his counselor asked how Hillary's head was doing with all this e-mail controversy. Bill replied, ""Still not as good as Monica's."""

"What do you call banana shoes? Slippers."

"How many pushups can Ryan Gosling do? All of them."

"""Please ma'am! How do you spell ichael?"" The teacher was rather bewildered. ""Don't you mean Michael?"" she asked. ""No ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."""

"Why can't hellen keller drive? She's a woman!"

"What do you call a black hipster? An idiot."

"I just got my prostate examined. That's the last time I fall asleep on the train."

"Two Cows are scared of getting mad cow disease A cow walks up to another cow and asks ""Are you scared of Mad Cow Disease?"" He replies, shocked ""No, I'm a Duck."""

"Get your faces tattooed on each other, so if the wife ever says 'you're a joke' you can say 'the joke's on you' and disarm the situation."