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Joke of the Day

"An Existential Question If given the choice between eating outside and watching the Nickelodeon network, what would you do? I'd pick Nick."

"What do you call a dog riding in a submarine? A subwoofer."

"Richard Nixon makes a really awful dinner for his wife. He defends himself by saying ""I am not a cook""."

"My new band decided to name ourselves after Samsung.. We're the exploding notes."

"What did the man say to his penis when it offered him a fight? Come on then you *little squirt*!"

"What do you a white convict stuck between two black convicts? An Oreo crookie"

"Man, I really hate all these low level Pokemon... They're always breaking my balls."

"you deserve more than a guy who wears t-shirts with ""witty"" sayings that he bought from jcpenney."

"So a polar bear walks into a bar... and says, ""I'll have a gin.....and tonic"" The bartender says, ""What's with the big pause?"" And the polar bear says, ""Oh, I've always had them."""

"My girlfriend is an atheist. Which is a problem, because I'm a god."