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Joke of the Day

"I'm always hard at work. But Human Resources keeps telling me that it's extremely inappropriate to have erections at the office."

"You can learn a lot about your kids by helping them with their homework for example, mine are idiots."

"My true love and I are like parallel lines. We will never meet and I will die alone."

"""How do you speak with an American accent?"" ""Well, imagine vowels killed your parents, and you're out for revenge."""

"*Looks up from pestle and mortar ""Phew! Powdering this baby is hard!"""

"'It's ok, I'm from the internet', I whisper from under your bed as you call the police."

"What do you get if a huge hairy monster steps on Batman and Robin ? Flatman and Ribbon !"

"I'm smart. Just not remembers how to write a cursive Z, smart."

"Hide and Seek Started a game of hide and seek with my dad 20 years ago. He's the best, where you at Dad?"

"Music Jokes! Jake: What did the Clarinet say to the naughty Trumpet? Sean: What? Jake: Why are you always in treble?"