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Joke of the Day

"What's Obama say to Biden when he leaves the room after a argument? Good*bi-den*"

"I swear to god if I ever see a car exploding I'm going to walk away from it in slow-mo and hope that somebody is filming it on their iPhone."

"Women are like the Call of Duty games. If you play them for too long, you'll end up alone."

"What do you call over the counter Viagra? Mycoxafloppin"

"Why did the Romans build straight roads? So Indians couldn't build corner shops."

"I have a girlfriend Not sure if this is really a joke, but everyone laughs when I say it."

"""You never say you love me,"" wept my girlfriend. I walked up to her and said, ""You love me."""

"I'd like to thank (you know who) for the (you know what) I'll talk to you later (you know where) and if I don't (you know why)"

"What did the apple say to the pear? [Man, go] away!"

"How to make your ears pop? Try some sparkly earrings."