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Joke of the Day

"I love campfire smoke so much ... it brings tears to my eyes."

"*termites on date* Waiter: what would you like to order, sir? Termite: table for two."

"Do I look like a fan to you? Because you seem so much cooler when I'm around."

"I used to repost stolen comedian jokes and try to pass them off as my own. I still do but I used to too."

"What does Salvador Dali eat for breakfast? surreal"

"Put your family down and pay attention to your phone."

"My favorite band I don't normally say I have a favorite band, but if someone held a gun up to my head, I'd probably say The Killers."

"Thought this up at work, prolly not funny, whatcha call it when a jew with Jiu-Jitsu skills fights you? Jewhitsyou."

"I met a new girl in work today, and she was a vegan I've never seen herbivore"

"How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him what period"