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Joke of the Day

"*termites on date* Waiter: what would you like to order, sir? Termite: table for two."

"Q: Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backward? A: They like the part where the hooker gives the money back."

"What is the difference between most of these jokes on this sub and a bucket full of shit? The bucket."

"PIG: ""I'm paranoid everyone's trying to turn me into bacon"" PSYCHIATRIST: ""I'll cure you"" PIG: ""Oh God, not you too"""

"What do you call a French sexual offender? A crepeist."

"DOCTOR: Im sorry, I can't see you right now ME: [wearing my new camouflage suit] lol that is so awesome"

"I may be a terrible lover with a tiny penis... ... but the ladies who know me say I can hold my own."

"Told my kid he better not steal another candy bar cuz ""we don't have time to get arrested"" if you're looking for a parenting role model."

"My 3 yr old puts himself in timeout whenever he doesn't want to do something we ask him to. Pretty sure he just beat the system."

"Drilling into American House Walls is like paying into German Welfare risky as fuck."