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Joke of the Day

"My favorite band I don't normally say I have a favorite band, but if someone held a gun up to my head, I'd probably say The Killers."

"what does Voldemort call his prostitutes Whorecruxes"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Ben Hur! Ben Hur who ? Ben Hur an hour - let me in!"

"You know you have a weight problem when even your car insults you. It flashes the word ABS at me and won't stop."

"Why does a giraffe need such a long neck? Because its head is so far away from its body."

"[at dave's who has like 9 dogs] me: ""what d'you call a fly with no wings"" dave: ""keith dont"" me: ""a WALK!"" [drowns in a tidal wave of dogs]"

"the average american eats 8 spidres in their sleep evrey year, but the exceptional american strives to eat at least 20"

"What do you get if you cross a computer with a ballet dancer? The Netcracker suite."

"The Energizer Bunny was arrested. He was charged with battery."

"I'm just a girl, sitting in her car, wondering what the person I texted ""I'm in the cat"" to, is thinking right now."