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Joke of the Day

"Put your family down and pay attention to your phone."

"What's long thin and smells of piss? Old people doing the conga."

"Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? Because she wanted to rock and roll."

"So Putin and Erdogan walk into a bar. Sorry, a war."

"What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and an onion? I'd cry if I cut an onion in half."

"A horror movie with all black people lmao ""Ayo what's going down in ya basement?"" ""That ain't my business"" ""I feel ya"" *Rolls credits*"

"Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now."

"I finally decided I want to be a car mechanic. Guess it just took some motor-vation."

"A woman is like a parachute can refuse at any time, that's why you need to have a spare one."

"How is the NFL like Brokeback Mountain? The Cowboys suck!"