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Joke of the Day

"I've just read a book on how dramatically footballers wives lose their looks once their husbands retire.It's a real WAGS to witches story."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? [NSFW] You can't jelly your cock into a baby's ass"

"The Breakfast Club: (1985) (1hr 37 mins) Not a single breakfast is had. Barely a club. Misleading. 1/10"

"""Let's call it a day."" -Guy who invented that word"

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window."

"Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car, instead"

"I wrote a poem. I dig. You dig. She digs. He digs. They dig. We dig. Now I know it's not a very good poem, but it's pretty deep."

"What do you call a bull masturbating? Beef stroganoff"

"A man falls in love with a nun and they run away together... The church says it doesn't mind, as long as he doesn't get into the habit."

"Two old ladies sitting on a park bench.. Two old ladies sitting on a park bench, a streaker ran by. One of them had a stroke, the other just couldn't reach."