29055

Joke of the Day

"When I die I'd like to be cremated I think I've urned it."

"Mr whippy was found dead today with a flake up his ass, chocolate sprinkles on his penis and strawberry sauce on his bollocks. Police think he topped himself."

"Michael died while working at the clock factory. None of his friends were sad about it, they all said his time had come."

"Give a man a jacket He'll be warm for the winter. Teach a man to jacket he won't leave the house."

"""It's clear"" said the teacher ""That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?"" ""Well my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down!"""

"What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. "

"How can you tell when a mechanic just had sex? One of his fingers is clean"

"Every timeI see a mattress tied to the top of a car, I think....there's another prostitute making a house call......"

"Why are there no cats on mars? Curiosity"

"What do MLK, Elvis, and the Houston Oilers have in common? They all died in Tennessee"