29042

Joke of the Day

"My wife caught me measuring my dick. Embarrassing! It reached just to the back of her sister's throat."

"Why did the boy close his eyes before opening the refrigerator? He didn't want to see the salad dressing."

"I keep telling people my girlfriend is not retarded... But everyone keeps insisting I am fucking retarded! Just thought of it while taking a poopy! I will see myself out now."

"Why did the kid run across the freeway? To show his friends he had guts. And boy, did he have guts."

"Some people say that I'm too vague."

"I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the West."

"I'm a Buddhist coke head I hope when I'm reincarnated I come back as a donkey, so I can grind my teeth all day."

"The last fight I had with my wife was my fault. She asked me what was on the tv. I replied, ""Dust."""

"You'd think Pizza Hut would be able to upgrade to a house by now."

"The only thing I want to ""portion control"" is my time spent at work."