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Joke of the Day

"I'm a Buddhist coke head I hope when I'm reincarnated I come back as a donkey, so I can grind my teeth all day."

"When she told me I was average, she was just being mean."

"We are gathered here today because Somebody ""glares at coffin "" couldn't stay alive."

"When the doctor told me I only had six months to live, I killed him violently with his own pencil. Worked a treat. Got me twenty years."

"Why don't the Borg procreate naturally? Because they prefer artificial assimilation."

"Universities are like priests They will teach you a few things, and then take you into the back room to fuck you."

"My English professor failed my essay on child birth They don't allow contractions in formal writing"

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan"

"How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? One..... Or two..."

"There's an omelet in the fridge. I want it. However, I can't have it... It's eggspired."