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Joke of the Day

"In the news today What do Aaron Hernandez and Edward Snowden have in common? They're both expatriots (expatriates)."

"Can someone please help me to spell misogynistic? A man preferably"

"I tried to make my password beefstew But it wasn't stroganoff"

"Mom: ""Why are you always on your phone? What's so great about the internet?"" Me: It doesn't constantly ask me questions"

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion."

"I consider myself a tolerable person, and I can care less if you are gay/straight;black/white; or conservative or liberal. The one thing I cannot tolerate, is ALL YOUR FUKN GAME REQUESTS!!!!!"

"What's a candidates favorite instrument? Trump-et"

"Oh thank goodness, my Uber driver knows what's really wrong with this country."

"Your Honor the defense rests. They are so tired. Aww they look like angels when they sleep. Kinda makes u forget about the double homicide"

"How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it."