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Joke of the Day
"Is it wrong to follow people just because they're hot? Also, what about on Twitter?"
Next Joke
"What did the astronaut see on his skillet? Unidentified frying (flying) objects."
"Why shouldn't you change around a Pokemon? Because he might peek at chu."
"What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? ....getting her out of the wheelchair."
"My mom when I was a kid: ""Never talk to strangers."" ""Never get in their cars."" Me to my future kids: ""Here's how to order an Uber."""
"Knock, knock. Who's there? Hodor. Hodor who? *Hooodoooor!*"
"As a child I had a medical condition that meant I had to eat soil three times a day It's lucky my older brother told me about it really... \- Milton Jones"
"How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb? None they just have a nursing assistant do it. As much as the doctor orders."
"My husband asked me why I never blink during sex, I told him there just isn't enough time."
"Needed one cotton ball. Two were left. Took both so one wouldn't feel lonely. I also have strong feelings about the last two pudding cups."