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Joke of the Day

"Mom: ""Why are you always on your phone? What's so great about the internet?"" Me: It doesn't constantly ask me questions"

"What did the french butter say when it got stocked in the cooler? Beurre... I came up with this today while grocery shopping. I'm ridiculously pleased with myself."

"What was the name of the most famous stripper in Ancient Greece? Socra-tease"

"I should marry my neighbor. She doesn't live with me, we never speak, and we see each other naked all the time."

"Whats an iPhone 7's favorite brand of frozen pizza? Not Jack's."

"If a tree falls in the woods.. ..and nobody is around to hear it, then I've found the perfect place for Justin Beiber"

"I'm so hipster... I wear modern clothes before anybody in the future wears them as hipster fashion."

"It's 4/20 and I'm not looking forward to weeding through all the bad jokes today."

"I tried to make a joke about coins But it didn't make any cents"

"Did you hear about the two monocles at the party? They made spectacles out of themselves."