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Joke of the Day

"Not being able to read because your book ran out of batteries is a pretty hilarious first-world problem."

"If you're hitting the gas every time she tries to open the passenger side door, remember, the 8th time is always the funniest."

"My doctor told me he appreciates my patience. I told him that I appreciate that he appreciates his patients."

"I just ate some pasta... ...and it was worth every Penne. ^(My god, that must be the worst joke I've ever written.)"

"Why did the Walrus go to the Tupperware store? Because he wanted a tight seal."

"What do you call a wandering cave man? A meanderthal."

"Two bacteria walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""We don't serve bacteria here."" And the bacteria says, *""But we work here. We're staph.""*"

"This may be one all of you have heard, but what do Eric Clapton and coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream."

"I saw these two blind guys about to fight and I shouted, ""My money's on the one with the knife."" You should have seen how fast they both ran off."

"There's a new dating site for bestiality enthusiasts It's called Petfinder.com"