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Joke of the Day

"If you're hitting the gas every time she tries to open the passenger side door, remember, the 8th time is always the funniest."

"Just saw a billboard: $586.25 Complete cremation. 1) Is there partial cremation? 2) What's the 25cents for?"

"We all have our weaknesses. Yours are just more obvious."

"That moment when you finally get your lighter lit and expel a sigh of relief."

"Someone tried to tell me a joke in real life and it went on and on and on for like 3 sentences."

"A common pick-up line at the gay bar.. ""Can I push in your stool?"""

"Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one."

"Not to play the martyr, but I feel like the thousands of fruit flies in my kitchen should be more appreciative for all I have given them."

"I like my women like I like my wemoweh a wemoweh a wemoweh a wemoweh IN THE JUNGLE THE MIGHTY JUNGLE THE LION SLEEPS TONIIIIIIIIGHT"

"Yesterday, I was told to ""check your privilege."" I did. It's still there."