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Joke of the Day

"My doctor told me he appreciates my patience. I told him that I appreciate that he appreciates his patients."

"What's the best part about fingering a gypsy on her period? Getting your palms red at the same time."

"Wife asked if I was going to take out the trash. Told her I didn't know her sister needed a ride home. I'm bleeding. Call 911"

"if i were a white vegan satanist i would constantly say stuff like ""kale satan"" and ""i love the dark gourd"" and nobody would stop me"

"What month was King Kong born in? Ape-ril"

"Being in middle management is like being a toilet seat... Look up and you see a bunch of arseholes, look down and all you see are shits."

"Did you hear about the war between the blondes and the brunettes? The blondes were throwing hand grenades, and the brunettes were pulling the pins and throwing them back."

"A Farmer asked me to round up his 68 sheep I said 'Sure, seventy'."

"FREEKY BLONDE Blonde1- Hey can I have some of your shampoo? Blonde2- Yeah, why not use yours? Blonde1- Mine is for dry hair and I got it wet already"

"Kid: But dad I don't want to go to Australia. Dad: Shut and keep digging"