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Joke of the Day

"I saw these two blind guys about to fight and I shouted, ""My money's on the one with the knife."" You should have seen how fast they both ran off."

"The disabled vet So my buddy is a disabled vet. It's really sad because he got injured on the job. Turns out he's not very good with animals."

"Whenever I go bowling.... I enter my name as ""3 testicles"". That way, occasionally the monitor says ""Congratulations 3 testicles! You got a spare!"""

"[Nsfw] What's the difference between a dead baby and a cantaloupe? I don't fuck a cantaloupe before I eat it."

"Me: I'm having a problem with my computer: IT guy: Have you tried punching it? Me: That's the first thing I tried. I'm not an idiot."

"Why are Christians so bad at Trigonometry ? They're afraid of sin"

"What do you call a horny dog in the kitchen? A fur-tile bitch"

"let's head over to the barber shop and make hair angels on the floor"

"I was so busy yesterday, my smart phone had 75% battery left at the end of the day."

"I hate finals week. Everyone gets testy."