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Joke of the Day

"England football manager Roy Hodgson has just announced that he's won the competition for ""Scotland's favourite Englishman."""

"Why do women parachutists wear cups? So they won't whistle on the way down."

"Pavlov That name rings a bell..."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef. What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean Beef. What do you call a cow with two legs? YOUR MOMMA!"

"Have you heard about the new Web MD zodiac? All the signs say Cancer."

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches."

"Why did the chicken cross the playground? ... to get to the other slide. H/T - my seven year old son."

"Romantic movies taught me that you always have to walk out after a big argument so that 6yrs later you can meet by chance and get married."

"Scat and feces... Different names for the same shit."

"Where's the best place to have a waffle on the beach? San Diego. (Sandy Eggo)"