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Joke of the Day

"Romantic movies taught me that you always have to walk out after a big argument so that 6yrs later you can meet by chance and get married."

"Most technology problems can be fixed two ways: 1) Turn it off and on. 2) Don't be an idiot."

"What did the pumpkin pie say to the cheesecake as they were going into the oven? I think this is a set up!"

"A man wakes up in a hospital, after a serious accident. He yells ""Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"" The doctor responds ""I know. I amputated your arms."""

"No, not bisexual, I said beesexual. I fuck bees."

"What's the difference between a calendar and me? The calendar has dates."

"What's black and sits at the top of a staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire."

"A doctor and his patient **Doctor**: After the operation, you'll be a new man. **Patient**: Could you send the bill to the old man?"

"JOHN LENNON: Love is all you need ME: This guy knows what it's all about JOHN LENNON: I am the egg man coo coo ca chu ME: OK scratch that"

"50 of the most offensive jokes I know 49 of them is your mom"