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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef. What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean Beef. What do you call a cow with two legs? YOUR MOMMA!"

"97% of the women who are in ""open relationships"" are also ""completely unaware that they are in an open relationship."""

"i wonder wat time is *looks at wrist only to realize i am not wearig a watch* ah yes, i had forgoten that time is but a invisible everything"

"I won every fight in 1st grade. Not because I was tough, because I was 13."

"Where does a pirate keep his buccaneer' s? Under his buccan-hat."

"Senator Clinton what is your favorite flavor of pie Well the Republicans........... Edit: Secretary"

"What's Captain Picard's favorite game system? N-Gage"

"Complimented Taylor Swift on her shirt yesterday and now she's in a tree outside my window with a guitar and a wedding dress. Send.Help.Now."

"Have you ever traveled in time? How about now?"

"Almost every branch of science has a pseudoscience associated with it: chemistry and alchemy, astronomy and astrology, math and economics..."