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Joke of the Day

"One out of every four people is suffering from some form of mental illness. Check three friends. If they're OK then it's you."

"So a mexican says... Fuck weed, Legalize my mom."

"What do you call a law enforcement agency that refuses to buy it's own vehicles? The Pro-lease department"

"I thought I just had a bad headache but according to WebMD I'm a conjoined twin slowly dying from jaundice."

"If you're American when you go into the bathroom and American when you come out, what are you *IN* the bathroom? European."

"What's the hardest part about making a manicure joke? You really have to nail it"

"How do you make a baby boy cry twice? Make him suck your bloody dick."

"Making out with a blind girl... I made out with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said ""Nah, You're just pulling my leg."""

"Why is everyone bragging about how great it is to have kids? I slept till noon today, and the only person who threw up last night was me."

"Said the masochist to the sadist: ""Oh hit me, hurt me, oh please just use me"" Said the sadist to the masochist: ... no"