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Joke of the Day

"One out of every four people is suffering from some form of mental illness. Check three friends. If they're OK then it's you."

"I got some used paint In the shape of a house."

"You got problems with parenting... You start to get headaches. I follow the instructions on the aspirin bottle: ""Take two and keep away from children."""

"Men mostly hate two words: 'not' and 'enough'... unless you say them together."

"Have you ever tried eating a clock? I don't recommend it, it's quite time consuming."

"My girlfriend got a tattoo of a seashell on the inside of her thigh. If I put my ear on it I can smell the sea."

"What color is a baby in the microwave? I wouldn't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate"

"What's Whitney Houston's favorite form of coordination? HAAAAANNNNND EEEYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEYYYYEEE"

"Forgot to tie my bikini top back before I stood up from sunbathing on the beach. Now I know how to get help carrying my chairs to the car."

"I'm not gonna be able to come out tonight I already sat down"