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Joke of the Day
"Have you ever tried eating a clock? I don't recommend it, it's quite time consuming."
Next Joke
"What did Bruce Banner get after having sex with as prostitute? a HULK RASH!!!!"
"[first date] Me: so what do you do Date: i'm a veterinarian Me: thank you for your service Date: veterinarian not veteran Me: ok but still"
"What's the Easter Bunny's favorite song? ""Don't you want some bunny to love"""
"What do Tinder and Seafood restaurants have in common? Both are good places to find Catfish"
"Order by telephone only. A friend of mine went to buy a sim card. Turns out you need to call ahead to get one."
"Don't tell me about how you ""dressed up"" your baby for a special occasion. If you're wearing something you can shit in you aren't dressed up"
"Why does Marshawn Lynch sit in the back at the Kid's Choice awards? He's just there so he won't get slimed."
"Gas companies LOVE this one trick to get more miles per tank! Buy a bigger tank!"
"[Bar] HER: I want to have sex so badly ME: [trying to impress her] I am so bad at sex"