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Joke of the Day

"The awkward moment when you think a customer is a salesperson."

"How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny? By the egg on its face."

"Time to get a haircut. Unless somebody knows an easier way to get a dude's dick on your arm."

"Nothing bums me out more than realizing how many celebrity baby names I know."

"Roses... Roses are red My name is not Dave This makes no sense Microwave *Drops Mic*"

"It won't be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It will be my inability to know when I should or shouldn't laugh at something."

"Me: Bless me father for I have sinned... Priest texting me back: I already told you, I'm not absolving u of your sins unless you come in."

"Well this beer isn't going to throw itself up."

"A guy was stealing Morton and Everstart. He punched the owner when confronted... He was charged with assault and battery."