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Joke of the Day

"It won't be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It will be my inability to know when I should or shouldn't laugh at something."

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"Every girl wants to be swept off her feet It's when you put her in the trunk that she starts to freak out"
"Why did the Marxist drop out of school? He didn't like the classes."
"[Dinner date] I'm a T-shirt and jeans kind of girl, so I guess I'm kinda a momgirl ""You mean tomgirl?"" Don't talk with your mouth full."
"A study shows women are more interested in how a penis looks than in how big it is ... As long as it looks big."
"Accidentally got in the 10 items or less line with 11 items again, so I made two separate transactions so I wouldn't piss anyone off."
"If con is the opposite of pro... ... then congress is the opposite of progress."
"It's weird that on this date in Back to the Future they didn't show people incessantly posting about Back to the Future."
"Why did the Muslim cross the road? His dick was stuck in the goat"
"How do you find King Arthur in the dark? With a knight light...."