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Joke of the Day

"Time to get a haircut. Unless somebody knows an easier way to get a dude's dick on your arm."

"What's the smartest cookie? Academia nut"

"how to tell your girl shes getting fat (actual convo on valentines day with my girl) me-i love fruit, her-i love chips, me- you better start to love fruit or youl love handles"

"Kids, on Christmas Eve Santa WILL break in to your house. He wants to STEAL YOUR COOKIES. If he has an ""accident"" the law is on your side."

"What state was JFK when he was assassinated? A horrible state"

"How did Paul McCartney get Linda pregnant? C Moon"

"*Bursts into bank* Robber: THIS IS A ROBBERY. HANDS UP. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Bank clerk: No that's clearly a shotgun 2nd robber: OOOH SNAP!"

"Lesbian Couple A girl asked me what my view on lesbian couples was. Apparently ""in HD"" wasn't the right answer."

"What is the sun's favourite kind of food? Sol food"

"LGBT Girl Scout Leader Arrested She was thrown in jail for eating Brownies."