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Joke of the Day

"I think my blind girlfriend just broke up with me She said she wanted to see other people."

"Oh trust me, I am very racist I ran plenty of marathons"

"Please, I can't handle any plays on words tonight. I just had an appundectomy."

"Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen."

"Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it... But those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it! **Credits to Rob Denbleyker of Cyanide & Happiness**"

"Cop: Lemme see your papers Me: Okay Cop: These are rolling papers Me: Would you look at that Cop: Sir are you high? Me: What are you, a cop?"

"What do you call a bunch of Mexican stoners? Baked beans"

"You're like a semicolon. I'm not sure exactly what to do with you."

"Why don't we assassinate Kim Jong-Un? Because the North remembers."

"The story of Kanye West Kanye West divorced his Kanye Pest, now it's just him and his kid in his Kanye Nest, Now he won't get his Kanye Rest to be his Kanye Best at the Kanye Test."