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Joke of the Day

"Arianna Huffington said Donald Trump is not getting enough sleep, so why isn't he getting enough sleep? Apparently not having enough **Melania**tonin at night!"

"Dropped my son for his first day of kindergarten today. Does anybody know what age you're supposed to pick them up?"

"The Detective Who was the first electricity detective? Sherlock Ohms"

"Why was the lonely instantiated object always asked to sit in the hallway at school? Because only friends were allowed to access the class."

"Some are mad Trump won. Others are mad that the anti-Trumps are mad. I'm mad that you open up a new bag of chips and it's only 1/3 full."

"Jesus take the wheel Carlos you take the stereo I'll take lookout"

"Chuck Norris isn't real... If he had been real, he would've come here and probably smash my head on my keyboarjfjcjcndndjxucbfjdi oejebhh jdudyehsbsj"

"What do wolves say when you yell barba streisand in the forest? uuuuuUuuuUUUUuuuuuuuUuUUUuuuuuuuuuU"

"What do you call a bee that produces milk? A boob bee."

"Fred: let's settle this once and for all! *fred rips my face away revealing bloody skull* Velma: he wasn't wearing a mask! Fred: I know."