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Joke of the Day

"I'm really good in bed.....I stay on my side and rarely steal all the covers."

"So today's my wife's birthday... I went out and bought her some flowers and a vibrator. That's so if she doesn't like the flowers she can go fuck herself."

"Relationships are like fat people... Most don't work out!"

"[Knock at door] MAN: Hello I'm here to talk about Jesus Christ!! Sorry, a spider landed on me. I'm here to talk about bondage ME: Do come in"

"Why did the snowman smile? ...because he saw the snowblower coming."

"Just saw a billboard that said, ""Texting & Driving Is Dangerous!"" Hahaha... that's so lamOMG I JUST HIT A CIRCUS ELEPHANT!!!"

"*catwoman struggles into suit* *catwoman realises she needs to pee* *crie*"

"A hunter brings a bear into his own home. His friend asks if he's crazy, and the hunter responds ""Just bear with me"""

"Donald Trump was just issued a notice by the IRS Ordering him toupee up."

"All I want to know is, what idiot named it a zipper...And not a penis flytrap?"