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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump was just issued a notice by the IRS Ordering him toupee up."

"so as I went in to vote this morning, an old lady told me to make sure I voted for the candidate that could make change. Boy, is my bank teller going to be surprised!"

"What do you say when you walk in on an East Indian woman dressing? Sari!"

"I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!"

"My father grounded me... He said if he ever saw me in front of the computer he'd smash my face in the keybouvuvwevwevwe Onyetenyevwe Ugwemubwem Ossass"

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Dad."

"Why did Churchill always beat Hitler with scissors in rock, paper, scissors? Because he knew Hitler always threw paper."

"I used to curcumcise elephants. The pay wasn't very good, but the tips were huge."

"Every Taylor Swift song sounds like it was written in gel pen."

"Movies are always more fun if you dress up like the characters. Like the time I didn't eat for 3 weeks and then saw Schindler's List."