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Joke of the Day

"[Knock at door] MAN: Hello I'm here to talk about Jesus Christ!! Sorry, a spider landed on me. I'm here to talk about bondage ME: Do come in"

"An octopus should have eightacles, not ten."

"I'd rather take a bullet for my son than cover for him when mom asks who left the dirty dishes in the sink..."

"...Moth balls Have you ever smelled moth balls? . . . . . You have?...How'd you get the tiny little legs apart?"

"If something goes wrong at the office, blame the guy who can't speak English..."

"How many Liberals does it take to change a lightbulb? The light bulb doesn't want to change and you should stop forcing it to do what it doesn't want to do."

"The worst is when you text someone and they text you back 2 hrs later but you already keyed their car and emailed their secrets to everyone."

"What is white and square? A ping pong block."

"No mushrooms, no chives. Bob Marley ordering a pizza."

"5 penises A man visits his doctor and tells him, ""You've got to help me doc. I've got 5 penises!"" To which the doctor replies, ""5 penises! How do your pants fit?"" ""Like a glove!"""