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Joke of the Day

"What do women and fuses have in common? They blow when they get turned on."

"there's a new joke on this subreddit"

"DOG: [running in circles trying to catch his own tail] SON OF A DOG'S PREGNANT WIFE: *looks up from knitting* Son of a what, David? Say it"

"Who would have thought.... Some as humble as I am, could be so important.."

"5-year-old: Why are we here? Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions"

"Studies have shown that intelligent people swear more than stupid motherfuckers."

"BF went to text me ""almost there"" It came out ""almost dead"" So hungover, I wrote back ""thank god"" And now he arrived and things are awkward"

"There were many docks along the seashore, but one of them couldn't handle itself and collapsed. Why? Pier pressure!"

"What is the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? One goes **Whack** ""Shit!"" and the other goes ""Shit!"" **Whack**"

"One of the rudest things you can do is make eye contact with someone eating McDonald's in their car."